Introspection

I am so thankful for my abilities and what the Lord has given me.
I can't wait to explore my work and want it to be a blessing for the Lord.  Lord,  I give you all these financial burdens and ask you to lift them up.
I know money is necessary and I need to be active and action-oriented, but I never want it to be the focus or motivation. Yes, I will need money and I need to consider ways in which to provide but even then something greater should drive.
I feel like you should also adhere to some sort of decency (artistically) when considering income. But, I know at a certain point there is a need to do something (anything).
But, I want the drive to be spiked with curiosity, excitement, discipline, usefulness, development, cleverness, logic and rational ideas. I want to follow the Lord, and then all else will follow. This does not necessarily mean "all things" the way I want, or "all things" happily, or even "all things" as we define it.

I think I've moved into the sphere about thinking practically and a bit grittier than my perfect, scrubbed- clean, infused with orchids, pink world.
I expect a gritty future but look through it with optimism, or rather belief, understanding that I should plan and labor for the best (while enjoying) and embrace the hardships and let downs.
It's not going to be easy. and a lot of it financial. I know that, but somehow I think I am exactly in the right space. I am at an university I love, pursuing two things that excite, drive, and discipline me, dance and writing. The perfect duo for my life right now.  It is not everything in my life, and rightly so, but it does prepare me and shape me for where I want to go (and become).
Dance for a company, write, write, write.
Practical. add in a zing of other practical skills and I feel like you could package me into a dozen paying jobs.
I always have to ask myself this question.  Is what I am doing in college better preparing me for what I want to do or bringing me to the same place?
and I have to say, I don't think it is. (----> bringing me to the same place....)


Natalia